Abide

wholehearted: intimacy, courage and freedom in God

Perfectly given

on May 15, 2020

I’ve started writing again… and I’m excited. It’s been a while… You see I have a love/ hate relationship with writing. When I’m in the flow and I feel God using me in the moment, I love it. It’s a place of hope and vulnerability, a place to encourage and reach out to those I love, along with complete strangers.  I love written words… my home is full of them. They carry weight and heart and beauty. So much is captured in one word!

But at some point, my love for writing waned as my need for perfectionism reared it’s ugly head. I would agonise over my writing…was it good enough, was it meeting people where they needed, was it spiritual enough? I got stuck in my head wading through a truckload of insecurity and negativity.

Sometimes we get stuck. What should bring us joy is suddenly a place where we question ourselves. We can get caught up in perfectionism, comparison, insecurity and fear. All these things stop us in our tracks and take the joy out of what God is calling us into. We place a long list of expectation on ourselves and question our ability to meet it. And then we just stop creating.

I’ve heard it said that our places of greatest strength are often our places of greatest insecurity. Perhaps that’s why they are our greatest strengths…. because they come from a place of fierce courage, a place that requires us to go deep and be vulnerable.

One of my most favourite passages of scripture is found in Luke 7: 36-50 and tells about a woman who brought an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume and poured it over Jesus, weeping she wiped his feet with her tears and anointed his feet with the perfume. This woman was not looked on favourably by others, they spoke of her as unworthy to even touch Jesus and questioned the gift she brought. She was ridiculed but Jesus spoke words of love and honor over her. He saw her deep love for Him in bringing her expensive and costly gift.

I love the courage and the heart behind this gift. This woman gave extravagantly. She held nothing back. Her focus was on Jesus and she was unreserved in giving what she had. She humbled herself before everyone in the room, to love and honor Jesus.

Perfectionism, comparison, fear…they have the power to kill creativity. They will suck the joy and life out of bringing our gifts. They keep us bound and stuck and cause us to live small.

It takes courage to bring our gifts, to offer them to others, to be vulnerable in our creativity. It takes courage to fight perfectionism, comparison, fear. It takes courage to lean into the places of vulnerability, to be willing to share our heart with the world.

Like the woman with the alabaster jar, our gift must come from a place of extravagant love… where we lift our eyes from the gift to the Giver… Where we seek to lift Him up no matter what it costs us… Where we choose courage and imperfection… where we choose to live given.

Blessings!

Tammy

 

 


4 responses to “Perfectly given

  1. Christine Canty says:

    So pleased you have started writing again, Tammy. God has given you the gift of being able to express yourself through the written word. I am always challenged and blessed by what you write. May God continue to use you and bless you.
    Christine

    Like

  2. Noreen says:

    I’m so pleased you are writing again,you never cease to bring me hope and blessings

    Like

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